What does it mean to have truly "made it"?!
Some people get gratification from reaching that next promotion, the next rung on the ladder, the next pay bracket, but when have we finally made it? What does it truly mean to make it?
I guess for a lot of us it’s a comfortable retirement, or a directorship or a comfortable financial position perhaps? This isn’t the case for me. From a career point of view I can keep going, keep climbing that ladder, keep achieving but you know what, I don’t bloody well want to!
I didn’t make that ladder, it is someone else’s, they made it, they created it, and they hold the power of who gets to the top or not. I want to wield my own power, I want to step off someone else’s ladder and just be. Lately, I have been feeling like I live outside of something, like an observer just watching the cogs of industry turn while I have day dreams of crafts, designs, ideas floating around. Truth be told, I am probably not performing particularly well at the day job, as quite frankly, I just don’t want to. It isn’t an awful place to work by any means but my passion and drive lives elsewhere.
This year has been tough, for everyone. It has been a struggle, I have had to continue working the day job as a key worker (not NHS front line) but in an industry that is considered essential. I have worked and worked and worked and I don’t think I have ever been this tired. I am tired of getting up at 5am, tired of the long commute, tired of working for people who take take take and still expect more.
I was recently offered an opportunity to go and help out another location. It would mean time away from home, even more time away from my daughter, my partner, more travel. I work somewhere that if you say no it gets questioned, at many levels, because we should always say yes (I certainly don’t agree with this however it is the nature of where I work), I knew if I outright said no then it would bring about many conversations and escalations that I quite frankly don’t have the time or inclination to deal with. So instead I asked for financial numeration, worst case they say yes and I get some money, worst case, I gave them the opportunity and they chose not to oblige.
I felt so empowered not to bow down to pressure, not to compromise myself by just saying yes. I know there will be many discussions over the coming weeks as to why I felt I could demand things of this corporate beast I work in, and I will be respectful and professional, all the while observing and waiting for my time.
Yesterday I was given and award from an amazing bunch of women, Women Who Achieve Solopreneur Award for the Creative World. They see ME, they hear ME, and they are interested in ME. To be recognised by such an amazing, inspiring, awesome bunch of women is truly humbling. It gives me a renewed fire, a real boost when I am feeling down. I am doing well, I have been doing well and I can achieve so much more than I think I give myself credit for.
Next year my business will be 3 years old. I have built it up from scratch. I have taught myself so much in order to be able to get it to a stage where I am being recognised on such levels as the Women Who Awards.
But, what does it mean to truly make it? When will enough be enough? When will I stop? For me, honestly never as I just don’t think it is in my nature. For me it will be when I am my own boss, writing my own rules, making my own hours. Knowing that if my daughter says “Can we go for a walk in the woods today” I don’t even need to think about it, I won’t need to worry about what I will be compromising in order to take that time out of my day for her. I won’t need to worry about being too tired (although I am sure mum-tired never really goes away!) I can just, be.
I think that is when I feel I will have truly made it. When I can start saying yes, yes to opportunities, yes to my family and friends, yes to life.
Feeling like an observer, watching this corporate beast of a machine turning around me, some days I just want to grab people and shake them and tell them there is more to life than this! But that is their journey and I am on my own journey.
Taking a little step back, to assess and think about what it will mean to me gives me even more fire in my belly to achieve it! I want to thank all of the inspirational women I am so lucky to be surrounded by. Hearing their stories, hearing their setbacks and what they did to overcome them, to just watch in awe. I hope one day I can inspire even just one person to live their dream and then just maybe I will have made it <3